1000 WORDS, 5 DAYS: DAY 4

This photograph was taken in Santa Cruz within the last two weeks I was in California before leaving. Visually you can see the significance of this particular photograph. The bright blue wall draw the eyes to this side of the photograph, forcing them to focus on the guitar player. I could suggest that the guitar player represents me following my passions and those with their backs to both the camera and the performer represent those who didn’t believe in me pursuing these passions.

However, this photograph is not about what it represents, this photo has a story.

The three men with their backs shown are my father and two brothers. Surprisingly, the middle man is my younger brother. To the left of him is half of my father’s body. On the far right is my older half-brother. For the longest time I knew about my half-brother, but I had never actually got the chance to meet him until 2016. I learned about him at a young age and felt that I was missing out on his life. It’s the same feeling you get when you don’t see your friends for a long period of time and realize how much you have missed since you last saw one another.

It’s the same feeling I had, except for a person I hadn’t even met.

I also had mixed feelings for my mother. I couldn’t even imagine what it may be like for her. This was her son and yet she didn’t have him actively in her life. Even more so for him. I came to understand that both people had come to terms with the situation and found ways to not let it get to them. They both had different lives and different people to take up the roles that would be considered missing. My family would not be considered a “typical” or “average” family for many reasons, this being one of them. Regardless of it being the first time we had all got the opportunity to meet each other, we had found ways to connect and share stories with each other. There may have been a few differences in opinions, but it made for a stimulating conversation. ​

I remember the day I took this photo. We decided to show Santa Cruz to my half-brother. It’s a place that was well-visited by my family growing up. So, spending the day there was like we were reliving our childhood with a new member in the family. I remember we went on the scariest ride available at the boardwalk. My brothers sat behind me during the ride. They made loud shrieks when appropriate, which in turn led my co-pilot, a 7-year old girl, to be so frightened she held on to me until the ride came to an end. I remember after this ride, we all played one of the boardwalk games involving a water gun and balloon. I honestly don’t remember who won, but the winner achieved a stuffed rainbow piñata. This was immediately given to my half-brother. There is proof of this in a photograph of us standing in front of the boardwalk and he is holding the prize. I laugh every time I look at that photo because he is a straight grown man holding a very colorful plush toy; something you don’t usually see.

he day prior, before this photo was taken, I had driven to San Francisco with my other brother and half-brother. I needed to obtain my work visa for Italy and decided to make it a miniature trip with the two of them. I showed them my favorite places to visit, whether they were touristic or not. This for me, was when I really got the chance to get to know him. We had opened up by sharing the many different experiences from our life. Some things were personal and others were outer layer information. We exchanged music interests, making it the soundtrack of the drive around the city. The strange thing is I felt like I learned more about him than I actually know about the brothers I grew up with. Perhaps if we had all grown up together, it would be different. One thing was for certain, I was thankful to have met him at this point in my life as well as his. I was at a point where I had a general understanding of who I was as a person. I was mature in the young adult kind of way. Also the age different wasn’t too significant. I was at the beginning to middle of my twenties and he was in the middle to late twenties. ​

I think this small age difference also made it easier for us to connect.

The idea of meeting someone you are related to but never grew up with seems odd and strange. However, it makes for a unique visitation with a person. It’s hard to put into words of my feelings and the experience as a whole. I think the best way to put it is: it’s like you’re meeting a famous person. You’ve learned about them maybe when you were young. You have seen pictures of them. You may have heard their voice a few times. ​

And when you finally do meet face to face, it is like “wow this person really exists?!”

I hope you enjoyed what I have decided to share. Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for the next photo and story I decide to share!
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